我真的很認真的細想，
我到底有多愛她，
我發現，我愛她的程度真的跟我最愛的那個女生一樣，
我真的沒誇大，
我一直都知道，我最愛的是第一個喜歡的女生，
之後我跟每一任交往，
我都知道，沒人能取代第一個女生。
但我發現，她給了我每一任女生都沒有的感覺，
她就是給我跟第一任女生相同的感覺，
我也做了沒跟其他任做過的事，
就是我們在2024/12/22(日)約好要在2024/12/28(六)見面，
在約好的當下，
我就立即覺得我要買東西送她，
然後我非常快就想好要買什麼，
然後我也非常快就選好和下單，
一切就是多麼的自然，
沒有過多的考慮，
這完全違反我猶豫不決的個性，
而且我真的不誇張，
我真的從來不買任何禮物送給每一任的，
我只會買禮物送給第一個女生，
所以原來潛意識我已經覺得她跟第一個女生一樣重要，
但我當時完全不知道，
我真的很痛恨後知後覺的我。
我仍然很記得她拆開禮物時那個笑得非常燦爛的笑容，
我希望她是真的開心，
現在，我不敢多想她怎樣處置這份禮物了。
然後，我們第二次見面時，
我又準備了一份禮物給她，
我真的太愛她了吧，
但這份禮物可能不太恰當吧，
她沒有收下，
我覺得，我應該把我家裡所有的零食帶給她就好，
我怎麼那麼笨！
而且除了第一個女生，
我真的不會一直送東西給別人的，
唉，我真的很愛她……
I've really thought about it carefully,
How much do I really love her?
I realized that the level of my love for her is truly the same as the love I have for the girl I loved the most.
I'm not exaggerating.
I've always known that the girl I loved the most was the first girl I liked.
Every time I dated someone after that, I knew no one could replace her.
But I discovered that she gave me a feeling that none of the other girls ever did.
She gave me the same feeling as the first girl.
And I did something I've never done with anyone else. (Except the first gir)
On December 22, 2024 (Sunday), we agreed to meet on December 28, 2024 (Saturday).
At that moment, I immediately felt that I wanted to buy her something.
I quickly decided what to buy, then I chose it and placed the order.
Everything just felt so natural, without overthinking.
This totally went against my usually indecisive personality.
And I'm not exaggerating, I've never bought gifts for any of my past girlfriends.
I only ever bought gifts for the first girl.
So, unconsciously, I already felt that she was just as important as the first girl,
But I didn't realize it at the time.
I really hate how I always realize things too late.
I still remember her radiant smile when she unwrapped the gift.
I hope she was truly happy.
Now, I'm too afraid to think about how she handled the gift.
Then, when we met for the second time,
I prepared another gift for her.
I really love her so much.
But this gift might not have been appropriate.
She didn't accept it.
I think I should’ve just brought all the snacks from my house to give to her instead.
How could I be so stupid!
And aside from the first girl,
I really don't give gifts to others that often.
Sigh, I really love her so much...
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